Hi Everyone,
So as most of my readers know by now, I have recently moved from Saint Louis, Missouri back to Ventura, California where I grew up. Adjusting to a new gym can always be weird at first. New layout. New staff. New equipment. New crowd. For the most part though, it is all the same stuff. Always a great group of people that are working to better themselves. However, with every gym there are always people that just have such weird gym habits that it drives you crazy. Here is my personal list of gym personalities that drive me crazy…
#7 – The Hater of Resolutions
Starting off our list at number 7 is someone that has really gotten to me lately. I never understood this attitude when I worked at the gym and now that I am more involved with social media, I see it even more. At number 7 is The Hater of Resolutions. Yes, it does suck that the gym is unusually packed around the start of the year. Guess what, it is going to happen again in June when everyone decides that it is time to get a 6 pack 2 weeks before they go on vacation. My problem lies with those people that constantly hit social media to berate the individuals that have chose this to be the year to change their life in a positive aspect. Let’s review a few examples…
Well sir, I am happy for you for continuing your routine of body weight exercises. Why not “hit da gym” and help out one of the reolutioners so that they can also get on a great program like you? Try and make them feel more welcomed instead of encouraging them to quit so quickly. Looks like you play basketball according to your picture…what if someone told you to just quit the first time you picked up the rock?
When was the last time that you did anything for the first time and knew how to use all the tools involved? There is a learning curve for everyone. And for being out of shape…isn’t that the point of being there? I am sure you walked into the gym for the first time with a low body fat and perfectly sculpted features.
Your gym? Oh my bad…
#6 – The Hoarder
Besides #5, this gym rat is the easiest to spot. Coming in at number 6 is the Hoarder. They usually reside in an open area designed for functional training. Most of them workout alone but gather up enough equipment for a medium sized cross-fit class. You will typically see them with at least 1 yoga mat, 1 Bosu-ball, 1 medicine ball, 4-5 weighted balls, 13 dumbbells of various weights, an olympic bar, 8 plates and at least 2 resistance bands.
Besides the fact that this person is most likely taking up around 65% of the functional training area for their “Around-The-World-Jump-Squats”, the most annoying habit of this creature is the fact that if you ask to work in a couple of sets with a piece of the equipment that he acquired on his quest he will turn to you and look at you like you just asked if you can take his first born…
#5 – The Extremely Confident Naked Bunch
Number 5 on the list doesn’t necessarily effect my workouts but they are always in one area of the gym. Number 5 is The Extremely Confident Naked Bunch. Now I am not sure what it is like in the women’s locker room but this is 100% what the Men’s locker room is like. I understand that there are showers in the locker room and that at one point or another 95% of the guys that take a shower will be naked for some portion of time. However, what I do not understand is the need to walk from your locker, to the shower, back to your locker, to the mirror, to the sink, to the hand dryer, change the tv station, and then back to your locker all in the nude. And this is definitely something that gets more common with age. The older these guys get, the more confident they are. Please just grab a towel. Especially if you are going to walk around and talk to people like I know you are about to.
#4 – The Promoter
Number 4 is by far the hardest to spot. He is like a snake in the grass. He will slowly creep around the gym until he find the target and stalk this target until the time is just right and then BOOM! Hitting the heart of this list is The Promoter.
If I have yet to start my workout or I am already done then I really do not mind hanging out and talking to people. It gives you a chance to exchange ideas, programs, and experiences with other people that are just trying to improve their health as well…mostly. This is a prime time for The Promoter to pounce and sneakily change the subject and tell you about this new amazing fad diet that is sweeping the nation and is the only reason he/she has met their goals. It will usually be some witty name like “Body by _____” or something to catch the eye of organic lovers like “Herbal______” and for just a small some of money you can become an ambassador and eventually make tons of supplemental income too! WOW! I have had precious relaxing sauna time stolen from me by these snakes that I will never get again. No, I don’t want to take your miracle pill. No, I don’t want to become a salesmen in your disguised pyramid scheme. And NO, I truly do not believe that your fad diet is the answer for sustained weight loss and a healthy life.
#3 – The Bro-Crew
I feel like number 3 is going to be the most controversial. I think that if a lot of people review their recent “workouts” that they will realize that they are part of this group. Number 3 on the list is The Bro-Crew. This will usually include a group of about 5-6 gym rats that will all be huddled around 1 piece of equipment. Typically something that requires lots of groans, slams and power lifting (Typically Bench Press or Squat Rack). You can spot them because it will be reminiscent of a pack of hyenas surrounding one dead antelope. Except they will take more time standing over the carcass talking about their most recent Rec-League game rather than actually eating. You can usually spot them by their truly witty shirts that usually have some intellectual saying like “You Mad Bro?” or “Do You Even Lift?” Good news is that when the pack is done with their 2 sets of 3 reps a piece they typically vacate the gym. Bad news is that 3 hours have now passed and you are already home. They will most likely be guilty of being #7 on the list as well…
#2 – The Thumb Exerciser
It was actually kind of hard to pick between which one the next two was going to be graced with the gold and who was to get the silver. In the end I had to select The Thumb Exerciser as number 2. They are very easy to spot at the gym. Why? Because they are always just sitting on the piece of equipment that you are trying to use. They stick out like a sore thumb! (terrible pun I know) Most of the time they aren’t even sitting on the machine in a position as if they were going to use it.
They can be seen sending more texts than doing reps and tweeting #GymLife for all their friends to see. Selfies at every angle are obviously needed while sitting on the leg curl machine. Once they move to the leg extensions though is when they find the perfect filter so that their hair line looks good in their new instagram pic. Watch out for these ones…they bounce from machine to machine like a pinball. No telling which one of your workouts they will impede next.
#1 – The Rat with the Pretend Maid
Here it is. The number 1 most annoying gym rat in the world. I have publicly talked about how much this drives me crazy and I felt that this particular rat deserved the #1 spot. The Gold! El Champion! Finishing the list at number 1 is The Rat with the Pretend Maid. This one will never seem OK to me. 90% of these gym rats are full on regulars and for some reason they just cannot seem to re-rack their weights when they are done. However, when they come in the next day they will turn and complain that the free weight section is sloppy and they can’t find the correct weight of dumbbells. They are allergic to taking off 45lbs plates off any sort of leg press and/or squat rack. This causes confusion in the gym because now people do not know if you are done with your set or just off hanging out with #3. The gym gets cluttered and starts looking like this…
Mama always told me to put away your toys when you were done. Beware of this group though. If you do start re-racking their weights even though they walked away for 4-5 minutes and they aren’t done, they will make sure that you know full gym etiquette about how not to move into another persons space until they are fully done. Do the entire gym a favor and just clean up after yourself.
Well ladies and gentlemen. That is the full list in my opinion. Vote below and tell me which one gets under your nerves the most…feel free to add to the list in the comment section!
Which gym rat is most obnoxious to you?
Until Next Time…
Ryan
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